留给2008年最后的纪念（3）

深冬

生命~

一不小心又站在这个地方了
还好 还好
这是在晚上

孤鸟儿

凄凉还寂寥

年末年末

2008年的最后一个苹果，如果没有人再给苹果我吃的话。哎~~~

Steve Jobs Stanford Commencement Speech 2005

He is really handsome and charming...the speech is quite inspirational and motivating ...and i like the words:

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

another edition with subtitle is here:http://www.edimsum.net/archives/vagabond/2008/11/stay_hungry_sta.html

Thank you.
I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. Truth be told,I never graduated from college. And this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college. This was the start in my life.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked far more interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road,will give you the confidence to follow your heart,even when it leads you off the well=worn path,And that would make all the difference.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. AND Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking , Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all ,very much.

留给2008年最后的纪念（2）

空中一丛乱竹
东施效颦，hiahia。。。

风中潇潇竹

幽静竹门

黄枯叶绿翠竹
我很喜欢走的一条路

这一条路上
有一个安静的路口
曾经某人在这里等某人
有时在下雨 有时是晴天
有时晚上 有时清晨 有时傍晚
夏天最热的时候有人在旁边卖西瓜
我买过两个
以后
还有以后吗
我开始在12栋跑来跑去给别人看电脑
我开始努力习惯绞尽脑汁的给自己整电脑 却总是整不好 也不知道可以问谁

眼泪要流出来了


两位冒着严寒清扫过校园的老奶奶坐在礼堂旁休息
这是校园里一道独特的风景线
每次看到他们佝偻瘦小的身影
默默无声的身影
我总会一遍又一遍的问自己
50年以后
我会变成什么样子
在做什么事
身边有些什么人
50年前
她们也是如花少女吧
他们是否也想过 50年后 的事 ？

拍日成癖
虽然2008年的太阳跟2009年的并不会有什么不同
虽然留下来的也只是一瞬间
但是心里总是有一些莫名而异样的感觉
因为它真的就要消逝了
永远的消逝了
记忆终归要模糊的
我能记起的
也只是那一年遥远的印象
那一年的破碎与哀伤
那一年的无奈和成长
那一年温柔的午后阳光

留给2008年最后的纪念（1）

冬日静影

我喜欢 地上 散落的 白色的影子

这个院子 已经看了我 三个深冬

金的邪异风格

太阳瘦了

我胖了

最后一朵忧伤的落日

2008年的绝唱

也许 也许

你说呢

这一片疏林 庇护了我一个冬天

前一段时间，在疯狂的看电视剧。

我知道必定有一个缘由，令我有如此反常的举动。也许是我不想说，也许的确很莫名。事实是，我真的看了很多很长很长的电视剧。

进大学以来，我本来很反感在电脑上看电视剧，尤其鄙视一集一集连续的往下看。因为据那时的我以为，那是一种颇为堕落且放纵的行为。但是我现在就是这么做的，莫非现在的我已然堕落且放纵？嗯，想来曾经天真的我一定很鄙视很看不起现在的我。嗯，嗯嗯。不仅如此，我竟然还看了《对不起，我爱你》。从大一的时候开始，我就极度鄙视韩国的所谓的剧，并且很不爽别人用我的本本看韩剧，因为我总觉得那些太假太没深度太没意义，我决不允许自己美好珍贵的生命浪费在这些电视剧上。但是。。。

既然提到了，那么就从这一部开始说。

看这部电视剧的初衷是，这部电视剧的主题曲太好听了，我想看看有这么忧伤的主题曲的电视剧是否也如歌曲一样动人；其次，我想好好的大哭一场：传说这部电视剧是极为悲伤的，也许对于想哭的我会很有催泪的效果吧。于是我就尽弃前嫌开始认认真真的欣赏这部电视剧。我以为我也会像她们一样看到某些集眼泪会如长江之水滚滚而流源源不尽，哎，我没有如愿痛痛快快的陪着武赫们恩彩们哭泣，只是被一些伤感的气氛感染，想到某些事，还是呆呆的流了一些泪。其实我本来可以很喜欢这部电视剧的，但是那些武赫们恩彩们不知为什么，动不动就发脾气扯着嗓子乱吼乱叫，太不和谐了。

所以，看完以后晓问我感觉怎么样。我只是淡淡的说，just so so。

很悲情的还看了《塞外奇侠传》。这是一部小时候极爱的电视剧。时隔10年再看，依然如当年般喜欢。

关于这部电视剧，我只是想说，它对我的爱情观的影响太大了。小时候，不谙世事的我便极欢喜卓一行和练霓裳之间这样真挚持久的爱情。那时的我潜意识里必定也认定了，这一生只会爱一个人，即使像卓一行这样等一辈子也可以。只是，只是，这样完美的事，也可以在不完美的人间发生吗？

关于剧情还想说一些。
练霓裳因被卓一行误会而悲痛万分，以至满头青丝在一瞬间变白。卓一行为了找到优昙花帮霓裳恢复往日青丝，也为了求得她的原谅跟他和好，便在天山上苦等18年。然而就在优昙花将要开放的前几日，他却已经被永远的冻死了。我知道这时的练霓裳是非常痛苦和自责的，如果之前她对他稍稍好一点，如果她放下那么一点点骄傲的话，如果她在该珍惜的时候好好珍惜，他们本来可以是最幸福的。可是，一切都已经太晚了。人间的事，为什么总是如此残酷。这个世界上的人，干嘛总要昂着假装骄傲明明心里在意的要死要活的头，干嘛总是如此绝情，一直要等到不可挽回的时候才知道什么都已经晚了，真是的，哭什么哭，早干什么去了。。。真害人。

我知道自己不可能左右其他人的想法，我也知道有些时候因为心有不甘也控制不住的想要自私一些，可是，以后，我要尽量放下，放低，再也不要跟那谁谁谁闹僵局了。难不难受啊。。。不过，如果谁喜欢干这样的事，很好，我会成全你的。

其次。我想说，有关一些渺小至卑微的误解。这个世界上的大多数悲剧莫不是由这个可恶的小东西给造成的。可是，聪明人都知道，这是可以避免的。我真的希望，如果有别扭了，不要冷战，冷不冷啊，难不难受啊，有话就直接说出来，就是吵架也可以。如果一直不说，等着别人说，那你就等着吧，一直误解着吧，要么误会越来越深已至变成怨恨，要么有一方不想再解释一切都不必再说了，另一方则更加痛苦纠结难熬。

有关怀旧的，我还看了《少年英雄方世玉》。咳咳。这部电视剧也是儿时的我大爱的。记得看完这部电视剧以后的几个月，我天天晚上梦里梦见的尽是方世玉凌小小。当时都有点后怕了，还好后来淡忘了。但是我还是很喜欢他们，方世玉尤其，现在看依然喜欢非常。另外这部电视剧的插曲很好听，太好听了。
我还很喜欢李小环，她是一个很不容易的女人，尤其是后来在小小的感化下变得慈悲善良了。

在追的美剧是《gossip girl》和《the big bang theory》。前一部暂不说，只是下一集要等到1月5号才出，我的神，编剧们可真能熬人。至于后一部呢，哎，它总是能让我破涕为笑，很喜欢。

-----------闲话的分割线（呃，其实上面也是闲话呢）-----------------------------------------

下午去亚贸，回来的时候干脆从亚贸走到图书城。在崇文广场走着走着，我突然看见了一本书，瞬间悲喜交加，是《爱你就像爱生命》。

于是我又想起了，三个月前的某一天，我也在这里找过这本书，当时却没有找到。当时旁边还有一个人。

我还想起了，在寝室的某个角落，那两根东北的大萝卜躺在那里，静静的。。。静静的。。。

Somewhere in time,Someome in time.

为了驱散心头突然掠过的一阵烦乱无措，我终于翻出了这部被我冷落在硬盘大半年的电影，《Somewhere in time》。

Somewhere in time,Someone in time.

在时光某处，有一个人一直在静静等你，直到相见的那一天。

她相信着。于是她苦等70年，只为把那只神奇的表交给他，嘱咐他去找她。

他相信着。于是他放弃了现代的高科技和拥有的一切，穿越时空隧道来到她的年代，带着那只表来找她。

他们见面了。

我喜欢女主角凝视着男主角喃喃的呓语：“is it you?...is it?"

喜欢男主角看着她莫名而坚定的答道：“yes“

这样的场景也许过于完美感人。在这嘈杂的现实中，真的会有一个人在那无涯的时间荒野里无怨无悔的等着另一个人出现吗？他们的相遇真的会如此微妙契合吗？怀着这样美好的希望的人也许有很多很多，可是真正能遇到并坚持到最后的有几人呢？殊不知，真爱只会降临在两个极个性的人身上。其他的人，只能领略到人间最平凡又短暂的幸福，甚至永远都等不到幸福。

继续虚幻的电影（梦境？）

就像其他所有的爱情电影一样，男女主人公经历了强横而无力的重重阻挠终于幸福的在一起了。就在他们最幸福的时候，男主角看到从口袋里摸出的一枚1972年的硬币，心惊恐的沉到万丈深渊。他向女主角无力的伸出手，却被现实迅速抽离，他们在黑暗中距离越来越远，再次时空相隔。他痛苦的醒来，这是否只是一场太甜蜜的美梦？

其实我本来很难被爱情电影感动的，但是最后这个场景却是看一次流一次泪，百试不爽。甚至后来在emule的资源描述里看见这么一段也不禁热泪盈眶。

“最难忘的时刻：两人历尽磨难终于幸福地在一起了，并无限憧憬地畅想着两人美好的未来，然而，就在那极为美好的早餐时刻，乐极生悲的理查突然在1902年的当时，从他那由现代社会穿过来的、他特意参考历史资料订做的古式西装口袋里，极为意外地掏出了一枚清楚无比地写着“1972”字样的硬币！于是，在女主人公撕心裂肺的凄厉呼喊中，理查“愀”地一声，回到了……500年前？不，是70年后，1972年！：） ”

回到现实，男主角徒劳的再次想用时空机器把他送回到1902年，他那时的模样好让人心疼。可是，现实毕竟是残酷的，他已经永远回不去了。

只是，他的心还留在那时，他该怎么继续，在这个没有她的世界里生活。我想，经过了这样一次刻骨铭心的完美的爱恋，他再也无法爱上其他人了。

美好的事物总是如昙花一现般稍纵即逝。也许正是短暂才成全美好，对于渺小的人类来说，强求持久似乎是一件过于愚蠢的事，把握此刻才是最真的智慧。且行且珍惜，勉之。

对于这部电影，虽然场景对于看惯了以华丽宏大场面著称的大片的我们来说稍显单薄，但是女主角摄人心魂的古典美和缠绵悱恻的主题曲亦为其增色不少。嗯嗯，我还想再看一遍~！

闲言碎语阅生命，此篇为首篇。

我不知道，我已经更换了多少个博客

我不知道，我已经抛弃了多少个博客

我也不知道，我可以在这里写多长时间

就像一个行路的人，一路变幻着心情上路，弃绝过去的种种，或者，被迫弃绝着。然后，轻松上路。我知道，今日心里如生命一样在乎的东西，事，或者，人，在岁月一路无情的冲刷下，终会慢慢变淡，最后变成心底轻浮的美丽幻影。怀念取代留恋。

多余的话不想多说。有很多话想要一吐为快，不过，来日方长。慢慢来。